Unemployment

50 Best Jobs for Your PersonalityI am 55 years old and have been actively looking for a job for 3 years. I find myself is a very difficult situation. I am a single parent still raising my granddaughter who is 11 and my 20 year old daughter in college. Being low income (very low I work one day a week as a bookkeeper) has an advantage when it comes to my daughter's education, she more than qualifies for a grant and my granddaughter has state health insurance which is the best.

The company I where I worked for 13 years like so many went out of business and being over 50 makes the competitions very stiff. On an average I send out 10 resumes per week and apply personally for 3 to 5 jobs per week. Generally speaking I am over qualified for the job at hand. My second problem in my job search is that I have to make money enough to take over the programs that we qualify as a low income family.

Last fall I decided I would check to see if I qualified for a grant to go back to school, I am eligable for a student loan. Now I'm faced with what happens if I go to school and still can't get a job how do I pay the loan back.

At a younger age I would just go for it, now I'm not sure how to approach it. I do have to make a living and not making a living certainly doesn't do anything for the self esteem. So to date I am still filling out applications, sending resumes and praying alot.

MADD MOTHERS WHAT MESSAGE ARE YOU SENDING

I have a now 20 year old daughter, and let's face it teenagers don't always make wise decisions. Recently my daughter went to a "barn party" where aproximately 20 under-age drinkers attended. She had been there about a half-hour and had drank a half beer, when another girl had an allergic reaction to something she tried at the party, broke in hives and dropped to the ground unable to breathe. The ambulance was called and the kids scattered, all but my daughter and her friend. My daughter and her friend stayed with girl keeping ice on her face and neck, and staying on the phone with 911 giving directions. The ambulance and police got there the girl was rushed to the hospital, EMTs told my daughter another 10 minutes and there wouldn't have been anything they could have done. My daughter and her friend were arrested for "minors in possion" PBTs were given and they blew .015 and .019 respectively. Now .020 is eating a piece of "Little Ceasers Pizza" or using mouthwash and let's not forget in D.A.R.E. they tell you "do the right thing nothing will happen to you". They went to court they both received $325 fines, 40 hours community service, 3 months probation, random pbt testing 3-5 times a week at $10 each time, and random drug testing at $12 each time. Pretty stiff penality for doing the right thing. At least she received a "thank you" card from the girl's parents.

Do you think that anyone from that party will stay and help anyone else? My guess would be no. So, now we are just going to let kids die due to the ignorance of our judicial system? MADD MOTHERS have done some very good things, but in these situations I find it very difficult to say this is right. The organization was founded in effort to save lives, are we that willing to let our young people be left to die due to the enforcement of drinking of a minor.

Dating

At 55 years old I still dream of finding the perfect love, a soul mate. Actually, my heart aches to find love. I have tried internet dating on a couple of sites, only to be disappointed. The disappointment comes from the views on sex. I still or maybe one of the few that think of sex a being a sacred act. I have found that on the websites, that men are making what seems to be a last ditch effort to try everything they have never tried sexually. I don't know if it's male menopause or this is there last chance for all their sexual fantasies.

Personally I find it very difficult to tell someone I don't know all my sexual fantasies. To type something that someone wants to hear so they can masturbate while reading it. I have become so disappointed that this is what sex has been reduce to.

What happened to being so in love with someone that you can't wait to see them, touch them, and kiss them. That when you kiss them everything in your being wants to be with them. Or is that just an old woman's view of what was, when youth and beauty were on your side. I watch my children as they fall in love, young love and am so envious that they're chance of finding real love is so much greater than mine.

Though as each day goes by and my search continues, I find it better to be alone than to be with an superficial love.

Fifty Five and Relationships

Fifty five years old and still feeling like a teenager. Just wanting to be in a relationship and doing some real dumb things to find one. I tried on line dating and though you can meet people it has been my experience that you meet people that are not looking for a long term relationship. Mostly I found people that are looking for people to live with, no emotional connection and of course sex is part of the package or simply a sexual relationship.

I did meet one person that was looking for a long term relationship the only problem was that it was on his terms only. I was not allowed to have an opinion or feelings of my own and was not suppose to have any connection to my family. I tried it for a while so who was the bigger fool. Then I tried a person only interested in a sexual relationship, since I still have kids at home meeting at his place seemed to work pretty well. Then we became friends and pretty good friends. Becoming friends put an end to our relationship entirely, because as I friend could no longer turn the man on.

Now I do believe that we are all from dysfunctional families and it is how we survive the dysfunction that puts us in our own category. Not that I haven't raised my children with their own set of dysfunctions, but after sifting through the good and bad things that have happened to me throughout my adult life I have made my list of what I want in my life.

Being in a relationship is top on my list. I didn't think it would a big problem, but I have found that the biggest deterrent is that I have an eleven year old at home. Though she is my granddaughter that I am raising it is certainly not an option for me to ignore the fact that she is part of my life. I have also, found that in the area that I live men 50 years and older are retired. How does that happen. That just leaves most of these men with nothing to do but become depressed and lazy.

Now I work part-time and should be working full-time, but my 19 year old daughter is having her 4th knee surgery and until her knee is taken care of I can't take the risk of her losing her insurance by me having a full-time job. On my days off I am a homeowner that requires maintenance (cutting the grass, weeding the garden and cleaning the house), I also watch 3 of my grandchildren ages 7 and under 3 days of week. I have a busy schedule. I have a difficult time with men who can't find anything to do but become old.

I have found that I crave affection from a man and would love to have someone that thinks that I am as special as I think that they are. I have been told at my age I shouldn't be so picky. Unfortunately, when I was younger I wasn't as picky as I should have been. I got married the first time because I wanted to be married which ended after 3 years the second time I got married because I was tired of being alone that I gave everything I had for 15 years. I want to married again, but I want to be married for the right reasons. I want to be head over heels in love. I want all the obstacles as seen by this mas as part of my wonderful package. I wonder if there is such a person.

I watch my children and find myself envious of young love, of being so willing to to vulnerable and it being so easy for them to give of themselves.

New Beginnings

Spring a time for new beginnings. That doesn't seem to be the case this year for us. I chose to say good-bye to love. My oldest son said good bye to his freedom after being arrested for having a meth lab. My daughter had her 3rd knee surgery very possibly saying good-bye to her life long dream. My nephew not making very good decisions thinks that drug and alcohol is a good way of life saying good-bye to sobriety. We said good-bye to a little boy who left us because of child abuse.

So maybe it is a time for new beginnings. Broken heart, broken dreams and broken lives make us truly look at what is left. As we go kicking and screaming into a life not of our choice, but because of circumstances that we put ourselves in and possibly our destiny. Our lessons we are to learn in life seem to hit us in cycles. To test our strength, our endurance or maybe just our sanity.

My son that I haven't spoken to in many years due to his choice of drug abuse. He has spent about half his life in jail and trying to con the world, including steeling his brother's identity. Leaving his children to find there way without a father. I happen to be raising one of his children. Yet my heart is deeply saddened that there wasn't anything more important than his drug addiction. I have found some comfort knowing that I have done the best I can do as a parent and that my children have there own life path. Though, I don't always understand their logic or their actions, I have always tried to keep an open mind and to listen without opinion. I do find myself in this case not understanding. Not being able to comprehend how you can walk away from children and family for drugs.

My daughter, since the age of 2 she dreamed of being a dancer. Without regret I did everything I could to be supportive both emotionally and financially. At one point in time she was dancing 6 days a week. Now I think she sees herself never dancing again. Unfortunately, I feel she blames me for the surgeries and her inability to dance. Alcohol has become a very good friend to her. I worry that it would be so easy for her to give up and drowned her sorrows, however, I know how determined she is. If she truly wants something she can get it. Though, it would take time and care she could do it. I am hoping God will show her some direction and if not dance then a career that would give her more gratification than dance ever could. Her life has had many challenges, but like with all my children I am in their corner for as long as they allow me be in their corner.

My other son, my second marriage left more scars emotionally with him than any of my other children, I am extremely proud of. He is a wonderful father, works very hard to support his family yet always comes up short. When his brother stole his identity he was arrested, went to court on numerous charges, and had trouble finding a job due to his record (that really wasn't his). Yet he keeps a positive attitude and keeps plugging away. Maybe we are more alike than the rest of them.

Then we have my granddaughter that I am raising. She is struggling so hard to find out who she is. We are very connected right now and though she is only 11 she can sometimes show me wisdom way beyond her years. It's very hard for her to understand how her parents pick drugs over her, but I let her know how happy I am that she came to live with me and became part of my daily life.

My heart goes out to my sister who is struggling trying not to let her only son take the path of my oldest son. I hope she is able to show him that sobriety is an easier and better way of life. I hope he can find the inner strength to find his life path beyond drugs and alcohol.

Then I am still so horrified and angry at the senseless death of a four year old little boy, the worse case of child abuse in Michigan, because of drugs.

I am trying not to deal with all this on an emotional level, but logic seems to escape me right now. I don't do drugs or drink and that's by choice. Not that I never have, I always found that it made the situations worse and thinking things out were next to impossible. Holidays I have a glass of wine with dinner, but I don't find the need for any more than that. I have always worked very hard to make things work, yet for the last three years I have been unemployed. I just said good-bye to the love of my life. The reason was I didn't think it should be necessary to give up my family to be in love. My family has always been my life and my purpose for being alive. Now I'm looking at different things not only are so many members of my family looking at new beginnings, I am too. I have to make some big decisions to make as far as where my life is going. So along with everyone else I am kicking and screaming making these changes and trying to find my life path.

Justice for Dominick - Child Abuse

The viewing and funeral are over, the hundreds of people that came to the candle vigil have all gone, most leaving with tears in their eyes. Now the emptiness of going on day to day without Dominick becomes a reality. More awareness has been brought to child abuse and the fight for a tougher law against the abuser “Dominick's Law” is being drafted and petitions are being prepared. As days pass the memories seem to fade into the back ground of daily life.

I don't think the picture in my mind of this little boy in the hospital bed will ever leave my mind. The bruised, burnt, broken baby will haunt my mind forever. Part of it is how can any human being do this to anyone let alone a child and the other part is that could have been one of my children. I was a victim of domestic violence and I was not an on looker when the violence headed my childrens direction. After being at the hospital with Dominick and seeing this broken little boy I felt a great need to call my adult children and apologize for all the times that they didn't feel safe in their own home. I didn't do my job as a mother, but the words of my mother haunt me to this day. “It's better to have a bad father than no father at all”, and I didn't feel I deserved better. For some reason it seem to justify staying with the man I was married to and to put up with the emotional and physical scars. I'm not sure what changed my mind, I knew my children deserved better even if I didn't. I thank God that I had the strength to leave when I did.

I think of all the women and children in this situation and seriously wonder how we can let these women and children know they are worth so much more. They deserve so much more. So many of these abusers are such wonderful people until they get home.

Though I struggle daily now to make ends meet, to keep a roof over their heads and in just being alone without a hug when things are really bad, I know we are happier and safer.

What I can't get my head around is what kind of comfort do these people find in destroying the defenseless and the weaker? How does this make them feel? The remorse is little because they do strike again. I don't believe it is drugs and/or alcohol. I just don't understand the cruelty to anyone let alone a child.

Visit on facebook JUSTICE FOR DOMINICK

Child Abuse

We started yesterday by celebrating the coming of my nephew's baby. The baby shower was decorated with balloons and baby bottles, and the gifts were tiny and precious. Then we got the phone call that a friends little boy of four had been beaten by his mother's boyfriend and was being taken to the hospital by ambulance.

By the time we got there Dominick was in surgery. The surgeons had removed a piece of his fractured skull so the brain had room to swell. Then the surgeons came into the waiting room to tell us that he was brain dead they had pronounced him dead in OR and it was the worse case of child abuse they had ever seen. His little body was burnt with cigarettes, lighters and a torch. His skull had been fractured, nose broken, and his body was badly bruised. He was kept on life support while the medical team looked for matches for his organs. At 10:00 this morning we all said our last good-byes as they removed all the life support and within 30 minutes he left us.

This brought back so much pain, anger and hurt, because 3 years ago I lost my 2 year old granddaughter to child abuse. She was sick and wouldn't quit crying so her mother's boyfriend suffocated her with a pillow.

Both of these senseless death happened in the safety of these children's home. Both of these children had mother's and boyfriends on drugs. Both of these children homes had been investigated by CPS and both these children were left in this environment to fend for themselves.

My anger comes from why are drugs an excuse for this kind of behavior? Why are these children left in the environment where they aren't safe? What could these two babies have possibly done to deserve the physical and mental pain they had to endure. Both these babies had family that would have gladly taken them, loved them and kept them safe, but were not allowed the option.

I was fortunate enough to save one of my grandchildren from anymore of the abuse she had already experienced. She was 18 months old when she came to live with me and had been sold to the highest bidder every night for drugs.

How can we allow our children or grandchildren to live under these conditions?

Dominick you are safe with God now.